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daphne loves derby - simple starving to be safe |
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this month has been.. interesting to say the least. i learned a lot of things by experience and by loss. i realized who my true friends are, and i know now that life is way too short to worry about what others think about you. i've made some great new friends, became closer with some old friends, and lost a couple of my best friends. i wish things didn't have to end like this, but they did, and all things happen for a reason. for now, for whomever may read this, i'd like to take the time to thank my friends
sorry this is in no particular order whatsoever.
toni, i feel like i should start with you as we've been through so much. i know you probably don't think i appreciate you, and from the way i've been acting, i don't blame you for thinking that. i hope you don't think that any of this is your fault for going to oregon, cause it's not. you were there for me through the hard times, and you dealt with me when i didn't even know how to deal with myself. you didn't accept, but yet you didn't harass me, for the fact that i did change, and i really do thank you for that. i don't want to throw away what we had either, because at a point, i did see you as my other half, like a sister. i remember when we did everything together from our cherished movie night to watching a lacrosse game in the rain :) and i honestly can't thank you enough for being there for me through it all.
anthony craig, although i know you would probably never read this, (which is a good thing) i still feel the need to get this out. god, where do i start.. you were my best friend, believe it or not. i told you anything and everything you wanted to know about me and i'm sorry that all had to go to waste. yes, we broke up, and break ups are a bitch, but thats not even what hurt me the most. what got to me was the fact that i had no one to turn to, i felt like i had no shoulder to cry on, no one to understand me. i guess i was just stupid for spilling my heart out to you, so that part is not your fault. none of it is. i just miss my friend. now all we ever talk about, if ever, is how i screwed up, how i made mistakes.. and even then, it's not the same way we used to talk. i feel like i have to be cautious with what i say for the sake of things. to get to the point, i honestly miss you. i'm not asking to be with you, i just want to be able to talk to you cause you were such a great friend to me and i thank you for that.
ty i hope youre not mad at me by the time you read this. i know, i fucked up, but i never lied to you. i always told you the truth from the start. i know i even told you that i would stop, and i didn't. i'm sorry for that, i'm sorry you had to question our friendship because of my stupid actions. i really do love you, and i appreciate that you decided to stick by me, regardless of my new found habit. for you, i will try to stop, just because i'd miss you too much if we were to ever stop talking. i love how our conversations are so random and ..odd, its just that i feel comfortable talking to you about anything.. and you know i mean anything. anyways, thanks love for being so supportive.
kimberly anne i am soooo fortunate to have found you. you are seriously one of a kind. i love your unyielding kindness and honest support. you were the one that lifted my spirits when i was at my darkest hour. lol that sounds funny but it's true. i felt comfortable telling you what was going on in my head without worrying if you would think any differently of me. you helped me in ways no one else could. you were my clutch, my emotional support and my best friend. i'm so glad we got closer, even though it happened because of unfortunate events. i'm happy that you can feel like you can talk to me about your problems as well, and i hope you know that i will always be here for you. live life with no regrets.
diane and henry, you two are one in the same! :) just of the opposite sex of course. i absolutely loved spending time with both of you this week and i'm only sorry that we didn't get any more time. you guys are a blast, and you both made me forget everything! diane dear, you are freaking crazy :) and henry, youre just plain awesome. i don't know what i wouldve done without you two. thank you soo much.
brittney our talks are priceless. it seems like you always understood what i was going through, and even if you didn't, you were there to listen nonetheless. i love how our talks would cheer me up, even if only for a day. i loved the notes, the thoughtful gestures, the picture frame.. you don't know how much it meant to me. you reminded me what friendship was all about and i thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart. yes, sometimes i don't show my appreciation towards people a lot, but i really do adore the friendship that we have. and even if i do happen to transfer next year, no worries, cause you should know that i would never end my ties with you.
taylor you have been so nice to me that its become sickening. :) you always have this way of knowing when i'm faking a smile, or i'm just plain stressed out. i am soo grateful for the talks we had during math and lunch. even though you did make me cry a couple times, it all paid off, and i'm am in debt to you forever for that. sometimes i felt sorry for you for having to listen to me bicker and whine, but i'm thankful that it was you there instead of someone else. your never ending optimism never failed to put a smile back on my face. even though i truly believe that people always leave, i hope youre one to stay.
god i'm tired.. to be continued...
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